I’m going to a wedding tomorrow!
No, it’s not mine.
I’m going to be honest, I’m just going to say it. Sometimes its really hard to get excited about friend’s weddings when you’re single.
It just is.
I just got real.
I mean the main reason that Single Christian Girls are so crazy is that we don’t want to be single.
We just want to be married.
So we go crazy.
Until we get married*.
What is ESPECIALLY hard about weddings though, especially in this digital era is when a friend steals her wedding from your Pinterest board …
So the question that I’m asking myself tonight is, (and actually continually ask myself) is how to not be the crazy single girl at the wedding?
Here is a pledge, if you will, about what I will or will not do tomorrow:
1. I will NOT eye up all the groomsmen. Even though I could make an excuse that they are standing right there and completely in my line of sight and one of them looks just really fantastic in a suit and is nodding intensely at everything the pastor is saying and seems like he really loves Jesus, even though I’ve never met him before I will not look. At all. I think I might poke out my eyes. I mean lets take Matthew 5:29 literally people (If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away.)
2. I will NOT be taking mental notes about my own wedding. I wont do it. Not even a little bit.
3. I will NOT tackle someone to the ground to catch the bouquet.
4. In relation to number 3, I will NOT push over a small child to catch the bouquet.
5. In relation to number 3 and 4, I will NOT use my hight to my advantage to catch the bouquet and beat people away with my ridiculously long arms.
6. In relation to number 3-5, I will actually just not participate in the bouquet toss at all. This decreases peoples probability of going to the hospital quite substantially.
7. I will NOT be pouty and not dance. I mean have you seen me dance? The world hurts when I don’t dance! However, I can hurt people, so this is a warning, give me about a 3 foot clearance. It’s about to get crazy up in here!
8. Even though my Mother mentioned it when I was trying on my dress tonight and I may have had the though once or twice or about 382 times this past week, I will STOP thinking that I could met my future husband at this wedding. THAT NEVER HAPPENS. Seriously. Where did that idea come from? It’s embedded in our society, but it’s completely irrational! Feel free to comment about that …
I promise henceforth not to participate in any of the afore mentioned activities which could portray me as a nut job.
Signed this 21st day of September, 2012.
Her Royal Highness Queen Claire Catherine.
*This statement has not be evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Marriage does not necessarily provide the cure for crazy. While marriage has been proven to be the cure for singleness the blog SingleChristianGirls.com neither condones nor supports the use of marriage for the cure of crazy.