On my normal run I pass by a small baseball field. Today there was a t-ball league game going on. The field was filled with little kids probably around 4 or 5. There was one kid who had gotten to first base which initially made me wonder how he actually got there since I’m having trouble with the fesability of 4 year olds playing baseball. Then I noticed he was doing a little dance.
He was dancing on first base.
A little Michael Jackson jig.
On first base.
It was the CUTEST thing I’d ever seen. I don’t even know if anyone else noticed, but I just died.
And then I got punched in the face.
Of course not literally!
I got blindsided by another devastating symptom of being a SCG. Unfulfilled Maternal Instinct. It’s dangerous. There are times when I see cute looking kids and freak out because I want one so badly. Sometimes I express this to whoever I’m with but mostly I keep it inside. One day I think I’m going to see a baby, start foaming at the mouth and turn into one of those werewolves from Twilight.
Now, I realize most of my friends that are reading this are probably thinking “Wait a minute Claire, don’t you hate babies?”
Well, I could see how you would think that friend. Sometimes babies aren’t fun. Like the baby who was at the wedding this weekend. As soon as my friend got to the end of the isle and the music stopped and the pastor started talking this baby started screaming. And not like a little fussy cry but it sounded like she had just gotten 1,000 paper cuts, been dipped in acid and had her eyes melted with a torch.
Dra. Ma. Tic.
So you’re right, sometimes babies bug me. But I find babies are like cats. The more you dislike them, the more they like you. Take for example my friends child who looks oddly like a cute younger version of Donald Trump.
That’s Donald Trump by the way. Not my friends baby.
Anyway, as soon as I mentioned to this 9 month old that he should consider getting a wig instead of the poor excuse he has for a combover it was like love at first sarcastic comment.
Sometimes I wish more of my relationships worked that way …
So anyway babies.
I bet half of you just turned into werewolves.