Unrealistic Chance Encounters #3

On a slightly more serious note then usual, I’m taking a big step today in my faith. I’m joining a church. Kind of a big deal, I’ve never been a member of a church before and though this isn’t necessarily another commitment to my faith in Christ, it feels like a commitment to the body of Christ. I’ll live life along side of you. Share meals, pain, joy, excitement, loss, new things, old things, good things, bad things.

I’m pretty excited.

Except not for the classes.

I really wanted this Church to just give me an honorary membership. I mean, I’ve been on staff here! I’ve been going to this church since I was in 9th grade! Don’t they just eventually hand that Membership stuff out?

Apparently not, because my first class starts at 10:50 am today …

Which leads us to today’s subject.

Unrealistic Chance Encounter Number 3: New Member Classes

Last night a few of my friends mentioned once or twice or more then they really needed to, that the bar we were at would be a perfect place for me to meet a guy. To which I responded. “You know, I would really just like to meet someone at my Church Membership class tomorrow.”

I did realize that this was stupid, even before it came out of my mouth. However, I wouldn’t be me if I had a filter …

It’s kind of like Jesus talking about the camel going through the eye of the needle … where he’s like “Don’t worry Peter, I got this, I’m about to blow your mind and stuff a camel through the eye of a needle.” Except for in this case he’s like, “Yeah, Claire, all things are possible with God, but maybe not this deal. Actually if I would have known about single women going to New Member’s Classes I think I would have changed that whole camel and the needle deal …”

I haven’t gone to my class yet, but I am assuming that the demographic will consist of older married couples, young engaged couples and then me and my friend.

It’s going to be awesome. Mostly because as the only two single ladies in the group we’re going to be made to take a picture alone that will be awkwardly displayed on the bulletin board outside of the restroom. Or at least that’s what they think …

(Insert evil laughter here)

This has semi digressed from the main topic, but we really don’t need to go into ridiculous things that I say to myself about potentially finding someone to date in my new members class. It’s so far fetched there is nothing really to say. So we’re going to talk about what I’m going to do in my picture!

Idea #1: My friend and I will be together, with a cat. Because that’s what old single ladies do. They hole up together and buy a cat.

Idea #2: I’ll have a sign with little things you can say to meet new people, especially in Edina. “Hey, you look really familiar! Do your kids play hockey with my kids?” Because everyone knows if you’re new, and you forgot your smart phone, in order to not feel awkward you read the bulletin board.

Idea #3: “Bathrooms that way –>” because they are. I think it’s kind of offensive that my picture has to be by the bathrooms. What if my picture doesn’t want to smell that?

Idea #4: Semi related to Idea #3 … be plugging my nose with a look of disgust.

Idea #5: Semi related to Idea #4 and #3 … look like I’m about to pass out.

Idea #6: Wear an ugly Christmas sweater, with huge glasses and personify my best Minnesota Mom character Char Johnson.

Like I said … I’m excited.

I’m pretty sure that something just malfunctioned on the camera of the guy they hired to take pictures for the church’s new member class and he dropped an F-bomb. That’s what their expressions say to me …

One thought on “Unrealistic Chance Encounters #3

  1. Clare, I’m so glad you and Lexi are doing this! And I think you ought to have a contest – either for the best picture pose idea OR for finding the best single guy to invite to next week’s class!

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