Do you ever take little things too far?
Do you know what I’m talking about?
Like “This guy I’ve never seen before in my life smiled at me! He totally wants to marry me!”
Or, “He covered his mouth when he coughed! And he was around me! That’s so considerate! He’s totally secretly in love with me!”
A fantastically cheesy pun that I’m about to put into this blog is that “you can get all your exercise from jumping to conclusions.” I think it’s true. Especially for Single Christian Girls. Sometimes however, its slightly more acrobatic, let me give an example:
One day, that one guy that you’ve been staring at for about a month on the bus offers you his seat. Instead of thinking it was just a gentlemanly gesture (which it was, I have realized in retrospect), I … I mean you, because this is purely hypothetical at this point, assume immediately that he has also been secretly in love with you for this past month as well. Then you start planning your first date, and by the time you get off the bus you’ve planned your destination wedding in the Bahamas and your subsequent honeymoon in Fiji. You’ve also decided to name your children after characters in Jane Austin novels and have planned to have your second home in Martha’s Vineyard not in Colorado. As you’re walking to work you start thinking about what colleges your kids should go to and what retirement communities could fit your collective needs. After you spend several moments debating Friendship Village vs. Sunset Plaza in Starbucks while waiting for you grande non-fat hazelnut latte you suddenly realize that you’re completely nuts.
Then you spend the rest of your walk to work feeling crazy, wondering if you should call child protective services, because you don’t know any other government hotlines besides 911 and lets be real, that’s a little drastic.
Or is it.
While looking completely distraught, you press the button on the elevator, and as the doors close you think “am I the only one who does this!?”
No, you can’t be!
Once the hyperventilating subsides, you realize you’re sweaty, because you jumped to at least 187 completely implausible conclusions in the last 20 minutes.
Who needs P90 X when you do this at least once a week?