I Think My Dyson’s Sexy.

For a while I wasn’t the most clean person in the world.  Then I graduated from college and learned that people don’t really like hanging out in a room that smells kind of stale.  Otherwise known as growing up.

Welcome to adulthood.

I haven’t needed my own vacuum until recently.  My wonderful roommate brought to our roommate relationship, among other things, a vacuum cleaner.

From the early 80’s.

How do I know?  Because the first time I saw it I immediately started looking for Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd.

Needless to say it didn’t last long.  So while we contemplated getting it fixed, I was thinking, “I wish I could just get married so I could register for a Dyson.”

This my friends is what we need to talk about.

This thought process.

I know, I’m hitting this hard and it hurts.  But ladies, you need to get rid of your theoretical hope chests.

In my theoretical hope chest there was a really nice vacuum cleaner.  I don’t know what’s in yours: silver platters, the pin your Great Grandma carried with her over on the Titanic, some really fancy “you-know-whats,” a Kitchen-Aid Mixer, etc.

Anyway, you know what I did?  I went and bought my self a vacuum cleaner.  And it’s a Dyson.  So what that I hyperventilated in the vacuum cleaner aisle at Target before I made my choice. So what that I called my mother three separate times to make sure that I wasn’t being fiscally irresponsible.

I did it.

I got rid of my theoretical hope chest and I have a really nice vacuum cleaner.

What I really want to say is, I don’t know when I’m going to get married.  But I really wanted a nice vacuum cleaner.  And you know what? It’s not worth waiting for.  It could be years, or decades (please Jesus, no …)

Am I giving up hope?

No!

Not in the least.  And I’m not jinxing myself either.

Those suckers last forever, so if I find a guy I can stand talking to for more then five minutes I’m sure we’ll be able to register for something awesome like a 70 inch flat screen T.V. instead of having to waste that space on a vacuum.

Winning.

Also friends, meet my Vacuum.

Image

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3 thoughts on “I Think My Dyson’s Sexy.

  1. The best part of the Dyson is how it “corners”! Good move C’s.
    I commend you for your independent and take charge attitude. Now, watch out for that neat nick guy who wants to marry you for your Dyson. Only bring it out AFTER he proposes!

  2. Brilliant post! I’ve totally starting buying/doing things now, rather than waiting for “when I’m married.” Real plates? Check. Real wine glasses? Double check. Traveling to the places I’ve always wanted to go? That’s why God gave us girlfriends! Enjoy your disposable income and singlehood while you have it. A gal like you, especially now with that snazzy vacuum cleaner, won’t stay that way for long.

    1. Yes! Good for you! I don’t have real plates (yet) but I think that’s my next step. (Real wine glasses were purchased a long time ago. I know what matters in life …)

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