The last “Lies of the Single Christian Male” was written right in the middle of March Madness. Obviously, why the topic of sports was at the forefront of my mind.
My current lie has been brewing in my mind for years.
I get the following a lot:
“Wow Claire,” (says a gentleman sounding semi-surprised) “you’re pretty funny, I wish I could date someone as funny as you!”
Well, guess what lucky man?! I just so happen to be available!
Oh, you’re not interested?
Okay, that’s cool.
If I had a dollar for every time that happened, I’d have enough money to re-buy myself the science kit my parents bought me for Christmas in 7th grade. That thing was amazing. It came with a microscope and slides with an assortment of microorganisms. Consequently, this also explains why I had a pretty limited friend group growing up …
Anyway, enough about me and onto more about me!
So here is what I think.
I don’t think my Single Christian Guy friends actually want to date a funny lady. I think they want someone who is going to laugh at their jokes.
And you know what? I get that. I totally get that.
I was at the store the other day and to be honest I was a little distracted. I was with a friend and we were chatting about our days in the middle of the checkout lane. The guy who was ringing me up asked me to sign my receipt (probably several times at this point) and my response was, “It’s because I’m famous isn’t it?”
He didn’t laugh.
I didn’t even get a smirk.
Not even an acknowledgement that I’d said something.
My ego was crushed.
So I get that.
You just want someone to laugh at your jokes.
Hey, me too.
And this is a big also …
You want a girl with a cute laugh.
A girl with a cute laugh, that thinks all your jokes are funny.
It’s like the American man’s kryptonite.
As my sister told me on Sunday night, my laugh sounds like a witch’s cackle.
I’m off to go boil some frog legs in my cauldron.