I haven’t written in a while.
I just needed a break!
A little respite
A little holiday (in my mind that was in a British accent)
Really, I think I was sliding down a slippery slop towards bitter and resentful.
But hey! It happens. That’s why I write – I share these feelings so you don’t have too!
But to get serious and be totally honest, I didn’t know if I was ever going to write this blog again.
Nope, I’m not kidding.
Then suddenly, it happened.
Like a beacon in the night I saw it:
The “Meals for One” sign in the Target frozen food section.
It was like my own Lion King moment where Rafiki realizes Simbas’ alive and symbolically states: “it is time.”
No kidding, after I saw that sign, I walked through the rest of my Target trip muttering, “it is time” using my best Rafiki impersonation. Sometimes, if no one was in the aisle, I’d throw in a little lunge, put my hands in the air and lift up the symbolic baby lion that is my blog.
Just trying to get pumped up people.
So anyway … Target:
They don’t make a lot of money on single ladies like me on a budget. You know what Target’s sweet spot is? A Mom, toting three kids under the age of 6 who has just wandered over to the beauty section after choosing a “home enema kit” that she’s about to administer to her 2 year old because some crazy stuffs been happening to him in the bathroom. I mean, get that lady some bath salts, some of that sweet smelling lotion, a little take-home mani / pedi set, and some new mascara. Then she comes out of Target spending at minimum 100 fat ones, and Target beats their third quarter earnings number.
I think I left my target trip MAYBE spending $8, after I had saved $5 with some coupons.
So you know what Target?
I know you don’t make a lot of money on me ok?
I know that I go to Target mostly to putz around, and spend 45 minutes running an errand that should realistically take me between 6-8 minutes depending on the length of the checkout lines.
But you know what?!
YOU CAN’T MAKE ME GET MARRIED!
I’M NOT SOME RUSSIAN MAIL ORDER BRIDE THAT YOU CAN PUSH AROUND.
So leave me alone.
Let me get my microwaved meal for one and stop bugging me about it.
However, I would not complain if I had a little “meet-cute” in the frozen food section.