“Oh, We Were on a Date? I Wasn’t Aware …”

Have you ever been the target of a “Sniper Date?”

Don’t know what I’m talking about?  That’s because I just made it up.

A “Sniper Date” is when you’re on a date but don’t realize you’re on a date until the end, usually when the bill comes.

This happens to me ALL THE TIME.

Literally.

ALL.

THE.

TIME …

To be fair, this is maybe because I’m a little dense and not totally “with it” when it comes to knowing if someone’s interested in me or not.  Also, as I’ve said before, some gentleman have said I’m a little “intimidating.”  That’s fine.  But I’ll just have you know, when you mess with the bull, you’re going to get the horns.

Kidding.

But actually.

I mean, is it too much to ask for some clarity?  I want to know what we’re doing, as much as you probably want to know that I’m willingly doing it.

In this age of modern technology and lack of face to face communication, the art of the date has gone to the dogs.

Especially with Christians – we’re TERRIBLE at dating.

God bless Henry Cloud who is literally fighting an uphill battle to make us better at it.

Enough seriousness – let’s play a game!  It’s called:

Is it a Date? (Cue game show music)

Question 1: You’ve just had an amazing walk through the park with incredible conversation and finished it off with coffee at that one adorable coffee shop. The lady paid for her own drink.  Is it a date?

No way.  So what your conversation was cute and you covered everything from the lack of closure in the newest Hunger Games movie to the passing of Giant George the Dog. No matter how “romantic” you thought your walk was if he didn’t pay for your triple grande whole milk latte it isn’t a date.  Even if he did pay this is still ambiguous. 

Question 2:  You and a “friend” plan to hang out over dinner.  You were thinking Chick-fil-a and at the last minute he changes his mind and suggests a quaint Italian restaurant.  You have apps, zerts, drinks and chicky-chicky–parm-parm (Tom Haverford lingo for Chicken Parmesan).  At the end of the evening the bill comes.  You offer to split but he insists upon paying.  Is it a date?

Girl, you’ve just been date sniped.  Get ready for an awkward conversation if you’ve put that Man in the friend zone …

tom-haverford

Question 3:  A guy calls and asks you on a date.  He takes you to the McDonalds drive through, you never get out of the car, your McNuggets were stale and the whole thing lasted about 30 minutes.  Is it a date?

Sure is.  He called it a date.  Probably, without fail, the WORST date you’ve ever been on, but at least he had the guts to call it what it is. Terrible, but still a date.

Question 4: A gentleman calls and asks to take you out on date this Saturday.  He picks you up at your apartment and drives to the local brewery, where the two of you go on the brewery tour.  You stay after a little to sample the local fair, and then you head to your next destination, your personal favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant and have an amazing dinner.  Finally the night is topped off with ice cream and a walk around the lakes.  He’s footed the bill for the entire night.  Is this a date?

Abso-friken-lutly.  Not only is this a date, but this man has mastered the art form of the “multi-stage date.”  Girl, you just found yourself an Olympic dater.  #winning.  

Advertisements

10 thoughts on ““Oh, We Were on a Date? I Wasn’t Aware …”

  1. Question 5: The super hot guy from your coed small group asks if you want to go to his brother’s baseball game because his team his playing your alma mater. You hesitate because you couldn’t care less about baseball and the weather forcast says windy and cold, but you’ve been meaning to learn about sabermetrics, so you decide to go anyway. When you arrive, you quickly discover that this weirdo invited you to a game where his entire family, grandparents, neighbors and childhood babysitter have come to watch the younger brother pitch. After enduring painful small talk with the extended family, he has the guts to ask you to dinner at the local pizza joint. You’re pretty famished by this point…I mean you didn’t think you’d be explaining your political preferences to this guy’s grandma, but once again…you agree. You drive separately to the pizza place, order some grub and SNIPE, he pays for the bill, BUT explains that the seemingly purposeful tactic is nothing more than a late birthday gift.

    Is it a date? I don’t know. Ask my wife.

      1. I don’t condone the actions of 5-years-ago-clay. He should have just told Jenny that the family reunion was a date.

      2. I would also just like to say that I died laughing, mostly because I’ve heard that story from Jenny and it is just so unbelievably epic. Especially the grandma part. Also … Clay “SWAT team” Kilber? Amazing.

  2. Q6: A male friend, who you volunteer with in the youth group, and who you’ve been known to email and talk to on the phone, calls you up and asks you to go to a movie. On a Tuesday. Surely that’s not a date. It can’t be since a week earlier you made a commitment not to date anyone for a year, and you said yes to the movie. When you decide to go to dinner first, you make sure to split the bill, since that’s what defines a date in your eyes. But, you don’t tell him until the end of the night about the previously mentioned not-dating commitment. Is that a date?

    This is why Kirk and I put air quotes around the word “date” when we talk about our first date. We weren’t exactly on the same page.

  3. Q7: A rando you met at a dinner party two weeks prior (and to whom you did NOT give your number) calls you up and reintroduces himself even though you’re good with names and can place him immediately. He tells you he has St. Paul Chamber Orchestra tickets for Friday night, and a couple you know from college are going, too (so you’ll be more comfortable). He also invites you to dinner beforehand. You have other plans for that same night, however, so you decline, but tell him to keep you in mind in the future, because the SPCO is completely your kind of thing.

    Was it a date? Of course not, you insist! He just got the tickets through work, and he didn’t actually use the word “date” when inviting you. ::facepalm::

    #hewasanolympicdater #dontworryimarriedhim #winning

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s