If you’re going to be single during Christmas you have my permission to go ahead and find some Prozac because it’s DEPRESSING.
I think that’s why I took a little break from the blog.
That, and I spent this whole weekend reading all of the books in the Divergent series.
Little tangent, but my mind is blown. If anyone wants to talk about it … I’m ready. We can form a Divergent support group.
Anyway, so I was thinking about it today and thought how selfish I was for being mopey.
So sorry friends, I’ll snap out of it.
Especially since this photo went viral a few weeks ago.
My first thought was, “I want to be her best friend.”
My second thought was, “I should blog about that!”
Then my third thought was, “no, I should just read Divergent.”
So here I am, three weeks late and on page 333 of Allegiant writing this blog because I’m frustrated with what’s happening in the imaginary dystopian society that Veronica Roth wrote specifically to keep me distracted from writing about the second worst holiday for singles.
I feel better.
Anyway, I was kind of going to let the photo fall out of my fingers until I got an email from one of my single girlfriends that went like this:
Subject: are you kidding me …
THREE people at work got engaged this weekend. THREE! Are you frickin’ kidding me?!? I tried to mask my anger and insta-depression through my faux smile. I don’t think it worked.
Why does this all have to happen around Christmas?
It literally rips the joy out of the holiday, like a ravenous grizzly bear.
You want to hear my theory?
It’s because the guy couldn’t remember what you asked for.
You say you wanted an iPad, he forgot. Solution – I’ll just propose and then she’ll forget that I forgot the present that she asked for!
Honestly, it’s brilliant.
Slow clap for the gentlemen.
What lady, when presented with a ring, is going to say, “but baby! I really wanted an iPad!”
We’re not going to do that!
When we see something sparkly, we just go for it.
Like the elusive Magpie.
Just kidding, the Magpie isn’t elusive. I just said that because it sounded more mysterious.
So in conclusion, good job men. Good job.
But seriously, just remember that she wanted a frickin’ iPad and stop ruining Christmas for the rest of us.