87 Things You Should Do Before You Get Married In Order To Actually Get Married.

I have a lot of blogs that I follow on BlogLovin.  Speaking of, you should probably follow mine!

Shameless plug.

Anyway, about once a week I’ll get a blog that’s something to the effect of: “Five Things to Learn About Yourself Before You Get Married.” Or, “Twenty Things That God Wants to Teach You Before You Meet Your Spouse.” Or “Three Things You Need To Start A Healthy Relationship.” Or “Thirty-Seven Voodoo Rituals That Will Get You Married in 2014.”

Just kidding about the last one.

I follow a lot of Christian Blogs and not all of them are even for single people.  So that leads me to believe we might be a little overly obsessed with the whole “marriage” topic.

Now don’t get me wrong, I write a blog about Single Christian Girls, so clearly I’m tapping into the very intense (yet unprofitable) “I wish I was married and I don’t understand why I’m not” market.  But for some reason, getting hitched has become the destination as opposed to a chapter in our life stories.  I think that’s what worries me about these blogs.  When marriage is treated as the end all be all of our sanctification process.

In case you didn’t know, it’s not.

I’m pretty sure no matter how holy I am (or think I am) before I get married, I’ll step into that relationship and suddenly figure out there was a whole slue of crap that I have to deal with about myself.  And then, adding fuel to the fire, I now have to figure out those icky things about me in the context of a relationship. Which makes things twice as messy.

My problem is that I read those articles, and then think, “If I was just a little more holy, God would let me get married.”

Image
via Pinterest

Then, the next thing you know I’m waking up at 4:00 am so that I can translate the whole book of Leviticus from it’s original Hebrew into Greek and then into English and then into Quechua so I can spread the gospel to the unreached people of Ecuador, all before going to my job.

But then I just end up crabby, which is the opposite of holy, because I don’t like getting up early, pretty much no one likes reading the book of Leviticus and I don’t know Greek, Hebrew or Quechua.

And I got God wrong.

I did the thing where we say, “if I do A, B and C, God will give me X, Y and Z.”

That sounds so dumb as a write it out.  Because I know it doesn’t work like that.

Then why do I still do it?

Because, I like control.

I like to know what’s going on, and I like to have a plan.  That’s probably why I still get sucked into reading those “Five Things To Do Before You Meet Your Spouse,” articles.  I want to believe that if I do those 5 things, at the right time, generally at midnight the night of a full moon, my future spouse will pop out of the ground.

It never works like that.

Mostly, because people don’t pop out of the ground.

But, actually it’s because God and I are in a continual wrestling match for who gets to be in control over my life.

Guess what?

God always wins.

I mean he cheats a little because he’s God and he’s all “omnipotent” and crap …

But I’ll get over it.

And, he’s also God.  Yes, I did repeat myself, but the fact that he’s God means that he is inherently good, he loves me, he knows me, he cares for me, he likes me and he wants the best for me.

Sounds like a great guy to give up control too.

I lead a small group of High School girls on Wednesdays, and generally I think I’m getting more from the lesson then they are.  This past week we read this verse in Luke that stuck out to me:

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God.  Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.

If God doesn’t forget about sparrows, he’s not going to forget about me.  If he’s taking the time to count all the hairs on my head, which I don’t even have time for, then I’m pretty sure he’s going to know what’s best for my life.

And today, that doesn’t include a spouse.

It probably won’t include one tomorrow either.

Beyond that, I don’t know, but God does.

And I’m going to work on giving control to him.

Jesus, take the wheel.

That was totally meant to be a joke, but I love Carrie Underwood, so I’ll leave you with a video …

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13 thoughts on “87 Things You Should Do Before You Get Married In Order To Actually Get Married.

  1. I love your blog!! You sound exactly like me! I always think I’m NOT DOING SOMETHING right so that’s why I must be in this situation. I have really been learning that marriage is not my destination but merely an enhancement for God’s glory! Love your blog…it’s so real.

  2. When I saw this post, I was honestly hoping for 87 ridiculous directions. But as much as I appreciate your satire, I appreciate this even more. Beautiful, beautiful post. (But seriously, can you link me to that voodoo ritual link?) 😉

  3. I want to first say that I love your blog and the humor you include in it. Also, I really want to say this is a very good post and a lot of good things to think about. Another thing to put things into perspective, if you can get away from the city or town and out into the wilderness, look up at night. You’ll be able to see so many more stars (it’s like someone shot a cannon of pixie dust at the sky) as well as the milky way galaxy… just one galaxy out of many. Then think, “The creator of all that – the vastness of the universe – cares about me.” For me, it made trusting God on so many things seem a whole lot eaiser.

  4. Yes, the truth is that sometimes we are doing everything that we should be doing but it just isn’t the Lord’s timing yet. Sometimes it is just hard trusting that it isn’t time yet. Thanks for this post.

  5. When I saw this I was excited to read the 87 steps on how to get a husband but this was so much better for my heart. Thank you for your posts! I look forward to them for a good laugh!

  6. This is the most perfect thing! I have never read any other “single christian girl” blog that spoke the truth as much as this one.. All I hear is crap like “if you stop worrying so much about getting married and stop thinking about it, your husband will come along..” Blah, blah, blah.. Yeah, well let me just shut my brain off for a second because you know it’s soo easy to turn your feelings off.
    For me this is the truth. I feel the exact same way, I always think that if I could
    just do better or be better then God would send me a husband. So I really enjoyed reading! Thank you! (:

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