Date Yourself Before Ya’ Break Yourself.

For a long time I thought I wanted to be a counselor.

I can show you the pamphlets Bethel Seminary is still sending me about their Marriage and Family Therapy program.

Speaking of, if you, or someone you know, works in the Marriage and Family Therapy Program admissions office at Bethel, tell them their school looks lovely, but I’m neck deep in a different career path.

I realized I didn’t want to be a counselor when I discovered I’d be terrible at it.

It was a big moment for me.

But I love counselors.  They’re the best.

I recently connected with this author / counselor, Debra Fileta.

And by connected, I mean I stalked her.

She’s written some of my favorite articles on Relevant and her blog is pretty awesome.   A few months ago she was looking for people to read and review her book, “True Love Dates.”

Since, next to Tim Tebow, Debra is one of the people I follow the most on ye’ ol’ Internet I really wanted to do it.  I also love reading and I’d never reviewed, but I assumed I’d like that too … plus I secretly want her to be my Yoda to one Luke Skywalker.

It also was a book about dating.

Via Pinterest
Via Pinterest

Who doesn’t love to talk about dating?!

No one.

That’s who.

Little did I know I’d be blindsided by her advice to get to know myself.

Just kidding – that was my favorite part.

I kind of wrote about this in a blog a few weeks ago, but this quote stuck out to me from Debra’s book:

Your story has far more to do with finding God’s unique calling and purpose for your life than it does with finding the love of your life.


I guess I need to be reminded of this again and again:

God’s plan for me is massively bigger then my relationship status.

Once your life becomes less about whether or not you’re married, and more about God’s plan for you, thats when you can participate in healthy dating relationships.  Someone whose happiness, fulfillment, and life purpose all depends on a broken and earthly relationship, won’t ever get what they really need.

But someone who is basing their worth and value on their relationship with Jesus Christ?

That’s the kind of person you want to be, and the kind of person you want to date.

Boom friends.

Debra brought the heat.

I loved Debra’s book, and if you’re dating or thinking about dating, you’d probably like it too.  You can order it on Amazon or at her website:


8 thoughts on “Date Yourself Before Ya’ Break Yourself.

  1. How true is that! So many girls try to find the right person that they neglect to take the time to BE the right person for their RIGHT ONE! My future husband does not need a basket case or someone he has to babysit! Love this post!

  2. I so want to meet someone or run into someone who bases his worth and value on his relationship with Jesus Christ. But it will be a miracle of God himself, a move from God himself for that to happen because I’m fishing in a really tiny pond. Actually: it seems like there is no pond at all 😦

    1. Yup. I agree. Not even a pond. Luckily God is in the business of miracles and it will be cool to see how life unfolds! The more hopeless it seems the more aware we can be of his glory when he makes it happen far better than we could have ever hoped for.

  3. Hahaha I go to Bethel and I definitely know a few people who work in admissions. This post is so relevant to me, I was literally just thinking about this topic not even an hour ago. Great job!

  4. Let me just say, I love your posts! I enjoy receiving an e-mail notification from SCG.They are so on point with the things we girls encounter each & everyday. I have friends who are not as “Christian” as they come but they too enjoy your posts 🙂 These dating ones especially. Thank you for your words of wisdom Claire, you are truly a great role model! & your words of encouragement keep on reminding us that the greatest love we can find is in Jesus Christ.

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