Here we go.
It’s Valentine’s Day week.
You gonna’ make it?
Shut up. You totally are!
PULL IT TOGETHER LADIES!
I was at the salon this week setting up an appointment to “get my nail’s did,” and the only slot they had open was Valentine’s Day at 5:00 pm.
I immediately thought, “oh, how apropos.”
I didn’t say that to the lady who was helping me set up the appointment, because I, one, didn’t want to sound like a pretentious snot, and two, I wasn’t totally sure that I was using the word “apropos” correctly. Turns out I was, but at the time it wasn’t worth the risk.
So, now I have a nail appointment on Friday.
With no date.
But watch out men of the world, I’m going to be looking really good.
I’ve also been thinking about how this whole “holiday” came to be. I use “holiday” with reservation, because, I really believe it was created in a dark room by Executives from Hallmark, Hersey’s, Zales and Ben and Jerry’s to sell lots of stupid cards, chocolate, overpriced jewelry and pints, and pints of ice cream to ladies made to feel stupid and worthless over their single status.
Can I get an Amen?
Ugh … I just got so worked up.
So I did some research on V-Day. And by research I mean I glazed over an article on history.com.
It started with, “the history of Valentine’s day – and the story of its patron saint – is shrouded in mystery.” Translated to: “We have no idea why the hell this holiday exists.”
Also, there are potentially 3 different Saint Valentine’s. They all were “martyred”.
That’s a fancy word for killed.
Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
One story goes that young Roman men weren’t allowed marry, so Saint Valentine defied the emperor and married them anyway.
Another story is about how Saint Valentine met some chick when he was in prison and ended up sending the first “Valentine”. Really what he sent her was a letter from a guy named Valentine.
Then, we decided that it was the first Valentine.
I’m going to send an email tomorrow, sign it “From Your Claire,” and then we’re going to create a holiday and celebrate something that people don’t associate with me at all, (I’m thinking hugs), where people hug each other a lot and send cards signed “From Your Claire.”
It’ll also be filled with Lutefisk, because that was the dish of my ancestors, and the Lutefisk industry needs a boost as much as the chocolate industry after people have finally realized that their New Year Resolutions are over rated.
Also, to help you get through this week, I’m going to be posting a little treat EVERY DAY! Get excited for some stuff that I think is funny and will make this week seem less awful.
So you should probably share my blog with your single friends. Then they can follow my blog too. This joy is meant to be shared friends.
And, if no one’s told you yet, you’re all fabulous.
Happy Claire’s Day!