To Tinder or Not to Tinder, that is the question:
Whether tis nobler in the mind to swipe left
Or to swipe right and open up a whole can of worms …
A really long time ago I wrote about how I was trying Tinder and that I’d eventually give you a follow up. Well, since then, a few things have happened. I deleted tinder, then I got it again and then I deleted it, again.
Long story short: it got really creepy really fast.
So I got Hinge instead.
Which is basically just like Tinder and only slightly less creepy.
So there you go.
Anyway, if you’re like me and have been kicked off of Match.com, are sick of eHarmony, think Christian Mingle is a joke and don’t mind using an app to help you make important life choices, try Hinge. You’ll make worse life decisions and remember – we’re in this together.
Also, to guide you on your journey here are my:
Helpful Hinge Hints for the Single Christian Girl (how’d you like that alliteration?!)
- Make sure you enjoy men with aquatic creatures. If you don’t, why are you on a dating website at all? They all fish, and they all take pictures of it. It’s like the man version of a selfie – a fishy.
- When in doubt, swipe right. Otherwise your soul mate could be gone forever. That’s probably not real, but just in case.
- Don’t ever swipe right to a guy with his shirt off taking a mirror selfie. Why is he doing that? Why? Where did your shirt go? Can you not afford shirts? Why are you taking a selfie, do you not have friends? I’m concerned. Are you cold? Did you take your shirt off, slip into a semi hypothermic state and then in your delirium think it was a good idea to take a picture of yourself before you drifted off into a coma? Are you even alive right now?
- Say you love Jesus. Just do it. It’ll weed out some people, but you don’t want to date them in the first place. Trust me. Trust your Mom, she’d probably say the same thing if she 1) knew what Hinge was and 2) was okay with you using Hinge … so there’s that.
- It’s ok to not respond to a message. They get creepy. They just do. Even if you swiped right with what you thought was amazing knowledge and foresight, peoples pictures sometimes don’t match their personality.
- Use the block option liberally. If they’re creepy and persistent you just block that sucker. Do it.
- If his profile makes you laugh, just say yes. I’m fully convinced that finding someone who makes you laugh matters a thousand times more then a good looking picture. When you’re both 105 and in the nursing home with wrinkles upon wrinkles and no teeth, you’ll still be able to make each other laugh as long as you don’t choke on your prune juice.
So best of luck friends. Have fun swiping!